How it feels

When the ground is rocking

When fear comes to power

When the air runs out

Can you understand

How it feels

As impotence crushing everything
When tears come

When the screams echoing

Can you understand 
How it feels

Testar sova hemma idag, åt middag på avdelningen och är tillbaka på avdelningen innan nio imorgon så jag hinner med skolan iallfall Alltid något och jag har verkligen bestämt mig nu och nedräckningen är på riktigt. Två allternativ:
Jorden
Nere på 6

"Veronika is a young, beautiful woman from Slovenia who appears to have the perfect life, but nevertheless decides to commit suicide by taking too many pills. While she waits to die, she decides to read a magazine.
After seeing an article in the magazine which wittily asks "Where is Slovenia?," she decides to write a letter to the press justifying her suicide, the idea being to make the press believe that she has killed herself because people don't even know where Slovenia is. Her plan fails and she wakes up in Villete, a mental hospital in Slovenia, where she is told she has a week to live.
Her presence there affects all of the mental hospital's patients, especially Zedka, who has clinical depression; Mari, who suffers from panic attacks; and Eduard, who has schizophrenia, and with whom Veronika falls in love. During her internment in Villete she realises that she has nothing to lose and can therefore do what she wants, say what she wants and be who she wants without having to worry about what others think of her; as a mental patient, she is unlikely to be criticized. Because of this newfound freedom Veronika experiences all the things she never allowed herself to experience, including hatred, love and sexual awakening.
In the meantime, Vilette's head psychiatrist, Dr. Igor, attempts a fascinating but provocative experiment. Can you "shock" someone into wanting to live by convincing her that death is imminent? Like a doctor applying defibrillator paddles to a heart attack victim, Dr. Igor's "prognosis" jump-starts Veronika's new appreciation of the world around her."

Som den galna twilightnörden jag är så är det bara att säga att mackenzie Foy ska pela Renesmee Cullen till och med bekräftat av Stephenie Meyer !!

Fuck the world,
and fuck you too.
Who the fuck are you,
to tell me what to do?

I'm tired of this shit,
and what you all say.
One minute I'm perfect,
but not the next day.

Fuck this life,
and everyone in it.
Leave me alone,
you don't give a shit.

I know what you're thinking,
and trust me, I do.
I'm not headed down the wrong path,
but if I am, it won't be with you.

See I got my own problems,
as you can all tell.
But it's all your fault!
You never picked me up when I fell!

I'd be fucking hurt,
I'd be fucking crushed!
But that didn't matter,
I was always just hushed!

So now it's coming back,
coming back from hell!
Just like you knew it would,
and it's ringing the fucking bell!

I can't believe you ask yourselves,
"Where did we go wrong?"
Are you fucking kidding me?
Do I need to re-sing this song?

I started at birth,
during my first cry.
I thought "Wow!"
But you just wished I'd die.

But wait, hold on,
this song isn't all about you.
It's about everyone around me,
and all the shit that they do.

Remember how they talk about me?
About me and my mistakes?
Remember how they lie to me?
They're just a bunch of fucking fakes!

No wonder I drink,
every damn day of my life.
It's because of people like you,
your love as sharp as a knife.

So now, I'll leave you,
with this to think over.
Is life truly worth living,
When people love you no longer?

Skönt att vara nere på nord igen. De förföljer mig inte hit får iallafall lite lung och ro. På syd måstede ha hänt något något hemskt... Något så hemskt att de ligger kvar i väggarna, något som inte har fått frid än. Men vad fan vill de mig?

Hemma är det annorlunda barnskriken i väggarna är jag. Jag som liten. Den lilla rädda och skrämda ungen den förlorade. Mina desperata rop på hjälp. De som aldrig kom fram.

Men nu. Nu får man idiotiskt mycket uppmärksamhet. Bara för att man försökte ta livet av sig! Innan brydde de sig knappt alls och nu är de på mig hela jävla tiden det är som att de tror de kommer att mista mig när som helst. Har de fel? De vette fan.